A Bit of Perspective
by Sareki02
Summary: When the Delta Flyer crashes, Tom and B'Elanna get a bit of perspective. Missing scenes for Once Upon a Time. (P/T, rated R)


Summary: When the Delta Flyer crashes, Tom and B'Elanna get a bit of perspective. Missing scenes for Once Upon a Time. (P/T, rated R)

Author's note: This story is a missing scenes story for Once Upon a Time (aka, the episode where Tom leaves B'Elanna the worst goodbye message ever). Many thanks to my wonderful betas: RSB, CaptAcorn, and Photogirl1890. Working with each of them is such a pleasure, both on my work and on theirs.

 **A Bit of Perspective**

" _I'm tired of day-old pizza lying around my quarters!"_

B'Elanna stood in her empty, pizza-less quarters as her own words fluttered through her memory. She'd come here to get some rest before the ion storm hit, but now all she could think about was the last time she had seen Tom.

" _What part of 'you don't need to babysit me' are you not understanding?"_

He'd been hovering for weeks now, ever since he learned the truth about what she had been doing in the holodeck. At first he had tried directly to get her to tell him what was going on, why she did it; but even with the Doctor's anti-depressants, she still found she couldn't open up to him.

But maybe that was because, in the end, what was there to say? 'I was upset because of the slaughter of the Maquis'? He already knew that much. But that wasn't what he wanted to know. He wanted to know was why she'd spent months dreaming up new and extreme ways to hurt herself. And why she hadn't confided in him.

But she had no answer for him. She didn't even have an answer for herself.

So he asked her, obliquely, if she wanted to 'talk' every evening.

 _They sat on the couch together, another episode of Captain Proton playing on the screen in front of them. B'Elanna was wrapped up in a blanket, her cold feet tucked under Tom's thigh. She was trying to read her novel, but found the ridiculous show kept distracting her. Finally, mercifully, the end credits played and B'Elanna prayed Tom would turn it off._

 _No such luck. The auto-play started the next one for him._

" _Can you turn that racket off?"_

 _Tom looked over at her. "Sure." A pause. "Do you want to talk or something?"_

" _What I want to do is read."_

 _He sat there a moment before speaking again. "How about some background music, then?"_

 _B'Elanna had enough. She tossed her PADD and it clattered against the table. "Tom! I just want to sit here, quietly, and read! If you want to watch your show or listen to music, go back to your own damn quarters."_

 _She expected him to yell back. She expected him to at the very least take the hint and leave._

 _But he just stared at her. "No, I'd rather stay here. Maybe I'll do some reading myself."_

B'Elanna cursed. Why couldn't he just read her mind? How could they be so bad at communicating? One thing was for sure, if… no, _when_ he got back, they were going to sit down and talk like two reasonable adults. No more 'hints'. No more 'not talking'.

It was time to grow up.

* * *

Tom drummed his fingers against the deck plate. Sitting here, running out of air, just _hoping_ Voyager would find them…. This was the worst.

And it didn't help that all his mind kept drifting back to B'Elanna.

" _I don't understand why you can't talk to me about this."_

" _I just can't! Why can't you accept that?"_

It had been weeks since he'd found out about what she was doing in the holodeck, but still she refused to open up to him. But at least she had let him back into her life.

That is, until the other night.

Tom had to admit that he didn't really know what to do in this situation. B'Elanna was hurting, but she wouldn't talk. All he could do was be there. So he was. Every night he would come to her quarters. They'd have dinner, then relax a little before climbing into her bed. They'd even made love a few times, much to his delight.

But it wasn't the same. She was still off. And, if he was perfectly honest with himself, he was watching her. Her holodeck usage was still restricted but...

" _God, Tom, you're here all the fucking time! I can't take it! I need some space!"_

He leaned back against the bulkhead as her words echoed around in his head. Out of reflex he took a deep breath.

And was utterly disappointed by the lack of oxygen.

They didn't have a lot of time left before the shuttle completely ran out of oxygen. He didn't know what he was going to say to her… but he knew he had to say something.

"Guys," Tom said to the others in the Flyer. "It's time."

* * *

B'Elanna grunted as she set up the phaser drill. Tom was just fifty kilotons of bemonite away.

 _Just._

She set the firing pattern on the drill and activated it. Leaning against the wall of the cavern, she watched the orange beam lash out, slowly eating away at the rock.

" _What do you mean by 'you need some space'?"_

 _She felt like throttling him. What the hell did he think she meant? He was here, all the time, watching her like a hawk. She just wanted to be alone for more than thirty seconds. His constant presence; it was suffocating._

 _She took a deep breath. "I mean I need a break from you."_

B'Elanna jumped slightly at a hand on her shoulder. "Everything okay?" Chakotay asked.

"Yeah, I'm just…" she trailed off.

Chakotay squeezed her shoulder, a comforting smile dancing across his lips. "He'll be fine."

B'Elanna nodded as he walked away. She turned her attention back to the drill, again mesmerized by its rhythmic pattern. Her mind slowly drifted to what they would find when dug the Flyer out. A mangled ship? Three dead crew members?

She felt her eyes start to water and she pushed her bleak thoughts aside. No, he'd be alive. He _had_ to be.

Because she couldn't stand the thought of her last words to him being said in anger.

* * *

 _What the hell did she mean by 'a break'? Just for tonight? Or…. forever?_

" _I… I don't understand."_

 _She paused a moment, and then looked away from him. "I need some time by myself."_

" _B'Elanna," he said, reaching out._

" _No." She brushed him away. "This is exactly what I mean. I want to be alone."_

Tom sat at the aft station, replaying the end of the fight in his mind. Shaking his head slightly he reached out and activated the recorder.

"Hey." Tom smiled slightly at the camera, trying to picture B'Elanna's face. "This isn't exactly the way I planned to say goodbye. I had planned to come see you. See if I could make things better. But…"

 _He stood in the corridor. To the left was the shuttle bay, to the right, B'Elanna. His first instinct sent him to the right, to say goodbye. To make sure 'take a break' meant what he thought it meant._

 _But he didn't have the time or energy to get into another blowout with her._

 _He changed course and headed for the shuttle bay._

"I wasn't planning on being gone for more than a couple days. I guess the old saying, 'never go to bed angry' applies to leaving on away missions as well." He paused again, trying to collect his thoughts. "Just know… know that I'm sorry. About everything. I shouldn't have pushed you. And, you're right, I was 'babysitting' you. And you have no idea how much I wish I could tell you all this in person." He felt his eyes start to water, and blinked. "But hey, B'Elanna, look on the bright side. No more day-old pizza laying around, and you'll never have to watch another chapter of Captain Proton again."

The computer's voice interrupted his thoughts. "Warning. Life support has fallen to critical levels."

"Don't mind the computer. She's just jealous that I'm spending my last few minutes talking to you." Tom looked away from the camera, feeling overcome again. The last time he'd been slowly suffocating, she'd been there. And he had told her he was happy the last thing he would see was her. And although he didn't want her here, dying with him… holding her one last time sounded pretty incredible right now.

He looked back up, and into the camera. What else was there to say? That she was the love of his life? That all he ever wanted was to love her?

He took a breath. He couldn't tell her all that now. She would already be upset. Best to leave things as they were.

Even if it broke his heart.

"So long."

* * *

B'Elanna sat, her feet tucked under Tom's thigh. They had just finished dinner and were now lounging on the couch, concluding a day that had begun with neither of them knowing if they would see each other again.

 _B'Elanna materialized in the shuttle bay, relieved to find the Flyer in front of her. It was battered, but she quickly saw that the primary hull was intact. Moving to the hatch, she mentally prepared herself for what she might find. And prayed to every deity that she'd ever heard of that everyone was fine._

 _A waft of stale air hit her as the hatch opened, followed quickly by the sound of Tuvok calling for an emergency transport to sickbay. B'Elanna bit her lip and she ran up the steps._

 _And there he was, looking a bit unsteady, but none the worse for wear. Their eyes met, and she could see the hesitance in them. But as she quickly moved towards him, his features relaxed into a soft grin. She looped her arms around his neck and he held her tight._

" _I love you."_

Soft music wafted through the room; the jazz and blues mix that he put on whenever he wanted some background noise. His hand had idly made it up her loose pant leg, where his fingers traced out complex patterns on her calf.

"It's not that I don't want to talk with you about it, Tom."

They'd been trying to sort through the fight in a reasonable, adult, way for most of the evening. But they kept circling back to this point.

"I just don't have the words to tell you about it. I don't have the words to tell anyone about it. My 'counselling sessions' with Chakotay are typically me getting frustrated with his damn questions." B'Elanna reached down, laying her hand on his. "I want my time with you to be happy and relaxing, not more aggravation and deep-diving into my psyche."

"But I want to help."

"I know."

He was quiet a moment before he spoke again. "Well, you know I'm always here, right?"

She let out a harrumph. "Wasn't that what our fight was about?" B'Elanna shot him a wry grin, but she noticed his expression fall. "I was just joking."

"No, I know. I…" He looked away. "I just wasn't sure where we stood when I left on that away mission. When I was in the Flyer… The whole thing seemed so dumb." He looked back at her, and she was slightly startled by the intensity of his gaze. "The regret I felt for not saying goodbye to you before I left…. I never want to feel like that again."

"I felt the same way." B'Elanna squeezed his hand. "How about, no matter what, if one of us has to leave the ship, we will always say goodbye?"

He smiled. "I like it." He then let out a little chuckle. "Although right now I'm imagining asking the Captain if I can leave the bridge, just so I could say goodbye to you next time you go on a mission without me."

B'Elanna arched her eyebrows, a smile crossing her lips. "Oh, I'm sure she'll allow it."

They shared a look for a moment before Tom patted her leg. "It's late, I should head home."

"You don't have to."

He paused, mid-rise. "Are you sure?"

"Yes. Stay," she said, pulling him back down onto the couch.

 _Fin_

* * *

Endnotes: As an aside, this pact where they will always say goodbye is my reason for why Tom chases B'Elanna down to say goodbye in Juggernaut.


End file.
